Back To School?

This week I received an e-mail from our regional winery with the unlikely subject line: Duplin Winery Back To School Savings.  At first, visions swirled of second-graders standing beside their chairs with stemware raised in toast to their new teacher and the coming school year.  The tinkle of clinking glassware overwhelmed my auditory senses.  Then I thought, No, wait!  The enjoyment of alcoholic beverages is reserved for those of us who are twenty-one years of age and older.

The sale must be targeting the parents of those school-aged offspring.  What rapture to send the little darlings packing back to school after twelve unrelenting weeks of slamming doors, running through the house at breakneck speed, asking incessant “whys” about everything you attempt to do, and you, stirring up and serving them 1346 gallons of sugar-free Kool-Aid.  That must be it.  You’ve done your duty.  You’ve earned your freedom.  After the school bus pulls away from the curb, you and your mate call in sick, draw the drapes, unplug the coffeemaker, pop the cork and kick back with a refreshing glass of sweet muscatel.

I wonder if Jack Daniels is running a back-to-school special targeting vacationing teachers retuning to the grind?

Link: Duplin Winery

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Ruth Pennebaker
    Aug 20, 2010 @ 17:25:49

    Hey, my husband and I have been to the Jack Daniels homeplace. They neglect to mention the surrounding county is dry, so you get no whiskey samples. As I recall, the free iced tea was refreshing.

    Reply

  2. Cindy A
    Aug 23, 2010 @ 14:41:35

    How timely, Winston. We jettisoned our daughter into 7th grade this morning along with 72 pounds of school supplies. The angst of middle school was so powerful that we could feel a vibration. Kind of like the going-to-get-you music from Jaws. Did middle school NOT suck for anyone?

    Reply

    • Winston
      Aug 24, 2010 @ 01:15:55

      Well, in my day we had no middle schools– it sounds like it might have pseudo-sexual overtones, anyway. We were lucky to escape all that. Instead, we had Primary, Elementary. Junior High, Senior High. Wow, 72 pounds of supplies. Did you have to pay for them by the pound?

      Reply

  3. Cindy A
    Aug 25, 2010 @ 12:33:33

    I went to Junior High, too. Hated it. The drama, the hormones.

    Paying for 72 pounds of school supplies was not nearly as tough as looking for them.

    Reply

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