Back To School?

This week I received an e-mail from our regional winery with the unlikely subject line: Duplin Winery Back To School Savings.  At first, visions swirled of second-graders standing beside their chairs with stemware raised in toast to their new teacher and the coming school year.  The tinkle of clinking glassware overwhelmed my auditory senses.  Then I thought, No, wait!  The enjoyment of alcoholic beverages is reserved for those of us who are twenty-one years of age and older.

The sale must be targeting the parents of those school-aged offspring.  What rapture to send the little darlings packing back to school after twelve unrelenting weeks of slamming doors, running through the house at breakneck speed, asking incessant “whys” about everything you attempt to do, and you, stirring up and serving them 1346 gallons of sugar-free Kool-Aid.  That must be it.  You’ve done your duty.  You’ve earned your freedom.  After the school bus pulls away from the curb, you and your mate call in sick, draw the drapes, unplug the coffeemaker, pop the cork and kick back with a refreshing glass of sweet muscatel.

I wonder if Jack Daniels is running a back-to-school special targeting vacationing teachers retuning to the grind?

Link: Duplin Winery

A Wake to Wake the Dead

A Recent news story from North Carolina.

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THE NEWS AND OBSERVER – 7 August 2010 edition

BY JOSH SHAFFER – Staff Writer

KNIGHTDALE — A fight broke out between daughter and stepmother at the visitation for a Wendell man Thursday night, a fracas that led to one hospital visit, two arrests and a dent in the funeral home wall.

The disturbance started as family gathered at L. Harold Poole Funeral Service in Knightdale to pay respects to Bryant Henry Williams, Jr., 90, a front-end and frame mechanic from Wendell, family members said.

Soon after she placed a kiss on her father in his casket, Phyllis Strickland, 58, was charged with assaulting Williams’ 73-year-old wife, Virginia, and causing $450 in damage to the funeral home’s drywall. Strickland’s son Christopher, 39, was charged with assaulting both Williams’ wife and a fellow grandson, Larry Wayne Terry of Duncan, S.C.

All called the melee a shame.

Phyllis Strickland said the family was not “there to fight and carry on.”

“My mother raised me to be a lady,” she said. “It’s a disgrace to have this going on when your father is laying there.”

Family members described a history of strife between the wife and her stepdaughter. Strickland said she was upset that Williams had failed to call her immediately when her father died Monday.

Strickland said she was assured by a cousin that she was welcome at the visitation and funeral.

But when she arrived and was straightening her father’s collar, she said, her stepmother shoved her away from the casket, slapped her and demanded she leave.

Strickland said she was only kissing her father when Williams “just went wild.” After that, other family members and friends got involved, she said.

“Next thing I knew, all 25 of them came up in the room where my daddy’s coffin was,” Strickland said. “It was so many of them you couldn’t get through.”

Williams told a different story and said she was struck first.

“I told her to step away from the casket because she was messing with my husband’s clothes,” Williams said Friday. “Her son knocked me down. I went to the hospital last night.”

Williams was treated for minor injuries at WakeMed, police reports said. Terry, a grandson, was injured but not hospitalized.

“She passed the first lick, buddy,” Williams said. “She’s nothing but a two-bit what.”

The Stricklands must appear in court in Wendell in September.

Christopher Strickland said he and his mother plan to press countercharges but have been instructed that they cannot until their case is settled.

In addition to those named, Williams is survived by two sons, a daughter, five grandchildren, 15 great-grandchildren, a sister, several nieces and nephews and three special puppies: Sheba, Angel and Bubbles.

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Challenge:

Can any reader recommend an appropriate hymn/song

for the funeral service of Mr. Bryant Henry Williams, Jr.?